Dreams Into Reality

As a kid, I had big dreams for my life.

I wanted to be published.

And rich.

And be a female Indiana Jones.

And live in a house with pillars, window seats and have a room with a turret where I would write and write all day long.

I’d shop in amazing bookstores, travel the globe, dress rather bohemian and…most importantly, I would have clear skin.

Until recently, none of those had happened. Sometimes dreams change.   I’m not rich and not sure I want to be. I don’t like getting dirty so the Indiana Jones dream didn’t last long. Some dreams may not happen.  I still want my dream house…and clear skin.  Some dreams change. I exchanged amazing bookstores for Amazon because I lack patience to browse.  I’ve done a bit of traveling.  Some dreams that I never allowed myself to consider came true; my husband and kids.

And some dreams just refuse to die no matter how hard you try to kill them.  I tried killing the writing dream. (too old, not realistic, lacking education, etc.) But then…The Blank Journal (hosted by a fantastic writing instructor, Christin Taylor) published an essay of mine earlier this month.

I’m very grateful to Christin and her team for the opportunity. I know everyone else who has a piece published with Christin this month feels the same way.  There’s something very satisfying, exciting, and scary about having other people read something that you’ve poured a lot of work (and tears) into.

So…at the age of 38, one of my goals from childhood has been accomplished.

Now what?

I guess I have to try to do it again.

But I don’t know how.  Or if I can.

It’s been easy to hide behind work and my family.  I don’t have time.  My husband’s in school.  Only one person can chase their dreams at one time.  But the reality is, I’m so bitterly unhappy when I’m not writing.  I feel empty inside when I go a day without putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard.  Without the written word, I feel lost.

It’s tough to admit that I’m not happy.  I’m not content.  Something has to change.

So here it goes…I’m a writer.  And I need a plan…a life plan.

I’ve been sitting on Michael Hyatt’s “Creating Your Personal Life Plan”  e-book for a few weeks now. I hesitated to use it.  Mr. Hyatt is a leader; chairman of the board at Thomas Nelson Publishing.  I’m a church secretary, closing in on 40 and sport 2 year degree from a community college.  We’re not exactly cut from the same cloth.  But tomorrow, I’m running away from home for a day to seriously read through Mr. Hyatt’s e-book and starting planning the next stage of my life.

I’m scared.

4 thoughts on “Dreams Into Reality

  1. At this point, you’re just “reading a book” and “making a list”. Nothing to be scared of at all. When it comes time to do the things on the list….it’s just grocery shopping, right? The list says “eggs”, you get eggs. You move on to the next.

    It’s all good. For all my blustering and blubbering, I refuse to believe it’s anything other than “all good”.

  2. Oh, Vikki…sooooo proud of you. And as far as the pushing 40 business–yeah? So what? Is it a liability in the writing field that you’re wiser and more mature than you were at 22? And you ARE. Writing isn’t a field that rewards only the young, the swift, the (physically) strong. Sure, sometimes it’s a young new writer with a new voice that grabs people’s attention. But most of us don’t have much of value to add until we’ve lived a little. Seems to me you’re right on time.

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