If You Don’t Bend, You’ll Break

I’ve received a lot of emails this week from friends and family catching up on my blog posts. Lots of concern about me had been expressed today and I couldn’t figure out why.

Then I remembered by last post was Stick A Fork In Me, I’m Done.  And I hadn’t updated my blog since.

I reread that post tonight and I get it why my inbox is getting slammed.  I was close to the edge a week ago.

In retrospect, I’m a little surprised and embarrassed that I wrote “Stick A Fork In Me”. I aired more “dirty laundry” than I intended but you know what? If I hadn’t, I would have went under.  Being honest, being vulnerable, admitting I’m weak was the healthiest thing I could have done.

My coworkers brought some meals this week that really helped us out.  A friend brought over flowers. Another friend took me to the doctor and shopped for school supplies for my kid. (Incidentally, I’m going to ask her to do that again next year. With her shopping savvy, total cost for two kids is under $6). My brother texted Monty Python quotes to me to make me laugh (it worked). Then he brought his whole family over with a care package.  Snacks and a stuffed duck. My niece explained that when I squeeze the duck’s butt, it will quack. That’s the sound to the rest of my family that I need help.

Hilarious and practical.

The practical help, the tangible expressions of love, the prayers all help keep my family going.  But the biggest effect on me was a sermon I heard last weekend. I’m embarrassed to say that I can’t remember what it was about. I stopped listening when the pastor asked if people see God when they see you.

Immediately, I remembered every conversation, text and email I received since I fell.  All of them mentioned my unwillingness to ask or accept help.

It’s not easy to admit that I represent pride and stubbornness.  Not God.

Yay! More lessons to learn! 🙂

I have another 4-6 weeks to go in this cast and although these next two weeks are going to be VERY difficult for my husband as he takes over more things I usually do (dentist visits for the kids, shuttling our teen to marching band camp, and school registrations), we’re learning to adapt; to be flexible. I’ve asked for help. I’m offering what I can in return and making mental notes to be more giving when I’m physically able to do so. I’m accepting help. I’m learning to let other things go.

Because if you don’t bend, you’ll break.

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