Second Chances…Can’t Do It (Not Yet)

I’m quick to admit that I’m not perfect. I screw up in all ways large and small.  And when someone throws a second chance my way, I leap for it, grasp it firmly with both hands and hold on for dear life. I want to be forgiven.  Sometimes I’m really desperate for it.

But if it’s within my power to give a second chance to another…well, I have to think about it. And the answer might be “no” depending on the offense.

And I’m supposed to be a Christian.

I know.  I realize I’m saying I want a second chance but I don’t want to extend it to others.

As I write this, images of people I know are coming to mind.  People I’m holding a grudge against because they hurt me or hurt my husband.  Wounds old and fresh are present and I am not willing to forgive.  I haven’t forgiven because I haven’t received an apology, I don’t believe it’s sincere, or I just know they’re going to do it again.

I hate this blog post.  God is the God of second chances. If I’m going to follow him, I have to forgive as he’s forgiven me. (Ephesians 4:32)

I should end this with something profound, some sort of promise to do better…something.  But I’m too disgusted with myself.

Who am I to withhold forgiveness?

For further discussions on forgiveness and second changes, check out People of the Second Chance.  I plan on reading what other bloggers are saying on the subject.  This seed of bitterness in my heart needs to be removed.

One thought on “Second Chances…Can’t Do It (Not Yet)

  1. Talk about hitting the nail on the head… did it. It is difficult to forgive sometimes. Sometimes people say they forgive me but then a week, a month, maybe a year later the issue is thrown in my face. I probably have done that myself a few times. I have worked hard at trying not doing that. But when there is a repeat offense against me, I think, when do I become the doormat? Jesus forgives. Does he consider himself a doormat when I repeat my sin. I have to have faith/trust that He does not and that He forgives me again and again. Our human mentality wants to draw a line in the sand and say, “Okay, I will forgive this time; but, if this line is crossed, I will not forgive them because it hurts too much. I will have to work harder at this too.

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