I’m quick to admit that I’m not perfect. I screw up in all ways large and small. And when someone throws a second chance my way, I leap for it, grasp it firmly with both hands and hold on for dear life. I want to be forgiven. Sometimes I’m really desperate for it.
But if it’s within my power to give a second chance to another…well, I have to think about it. And the answer might be “no” depending on the offense.
And I’m supposed to be a Christian.
I know. I realize I’m saying I want a second chance but I don’t want to extend it to others.
As I write this, images of people I know are coming to mind. People I’m holding a grudge against because they hurt me or hurt my husband. Wounds old and fresh are present and I am not willing to forgive. I haven’t forgiven because I haven’t received an apology, I don’t believe it’s sincere, or I just know they’re going to do it again.
I hate this blog post. God is the God of second chances. If I’m going to follow him, I have to forgive as he’s forgiven me. (Ephesians 4:32)
I should end this with something profound, some sort of promise to do better…something. But I’m too disgusted with myself.
Who am I to withhold forgiveness?
For further discussions on forgiveness and second changes, check out People of the Second Chance. I plan on reading what other bloggers are saying on the subject. This seed of bitterness in my heart needs to be removed.